


Different types of kisses

by VanillaKiss



Category: BTOB
Genre: Break Up, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 12:10:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18282167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanillaKiss/pseuds/VanillaKiss
Summary: Different types of kisses that Ilhoon and Sungjae gave each other through the years.





	Different types of kisses

**Author's Note:**

> for day5 of iljaeweekmarch19

I: The awkward first kiss

It happened not long after their debut. Everything was so new and exciting and they were there, sitting on Ilhoon’s bed and talking about the future. It seemed so promising yet unsure. Sometimes they spent their afternoon together and talked about many things. For Ilhoon, Sungjae was the only one in the group who was younger than him so he wanted to be a good big brother and be that person Sungjae can lean on.

But soon, he noticed the extra attention Sungjae paid to him, those small gestures, how clingy the younger was with him. Sungjae didn’t really say it out loud, or when he did, Ilhoon thought he was just joking. 

He hoped it all was just a joke.

On that day, when they were in their shared bedroom, sitting next to each other, knees touching, they could feel that something wasn’t the same as before. Maybe it was Sungjae, that persistent boy, who caused this. Ilhoon tried to act cold and act like he doesn’t like it, but that wasn’t true. Deep inside he knew that he started liking Sungjae just like how Sungjae liked him. 

Maybe this was the reason he let that kiss happen. He saw Sungjae leaning closer, eyes closing slowly while his eyes remained the same. Their first kiss was too much nose, inexperienced lips, awkward position. But it was nice. 

 

II. Lazy kisses

More and more kisses followed their first kiss and it became regular. It was something they both enjoyed and liked doing it in their bedroom the most. All seven members were sharing the same room together, but sometimes they could find some time alone. They liked it because it was a place where no one could see them, not even their members who would have been probably shocked. 

It was something they shouldn’t have done. They knew it. What they were doing wasn’t acceptable and it already crossed the line between just being friends and being more than friends. But they just couldn’t stop anymore. Kissing lazily like they had nothing else to do was one of their favorite things. And these kisses weren’t only on the lips, they liked tummy kisses and forehead kisses as well. Sometimes they kissed only for a few minuted but many times it lasted for hours. 

III. The are-we-friends-or-lovers kiss

These regular make-out sessions just confused them. Were they friends? Or more than just friends? They definitely acted like more. Those lazy kisses were almost daily and they even did it many times when the other members were around. None of them questioned their relationship or told them to stop because it would be bad for the band. 

It happened on their tour when both of them decided to go to eat something together. It was like a date, but not really a date. They went to a restaurant and talked about their everyday life and made plans for the next week when they didn’t have any schedule. 

They enjoyed each other’s company a little too much. When they went back to their rooms, they stopped by Ilhoon’s first. They weren’t roommates, Sungjae shared a room with Eunkwang and Ilhoon shared it with Hyunik. When they said goodnight and Ilhoon tiptoed to give him a goodnight kiss, it said something else too. It questioned their friendship and its lingering taste didn’t let them sleep that night. They just wanted to talk to the other and make it clear what exactly is between them.

 

IV. The hesitant kiss

Something had changed. Ilhoon could feel it. It was a fast but at the same time slow change. You could see it. It was subtle but it was there. However, it still felt so sudden. Like, in one moment they were cuddling in bed, holding each other close, and in the next, they were walking with a growing distance between them and spent more time with the other members.

Ilhoon tried to do something. Anything that would bring back the same love they felt for each other. The same love Ilhoon still felt. But he knew it’s not enough if it’s only one person who still wants to try while the other is already moving on.

When Sungjae come back from the shooting, Ilhoon gave him a kiss. It was hesitant. He wasn't sure if he should kiss his boyfriend or not. But he did. And Sungjae kissed him back.

V. The heated kiss

It looked like everything would be the same again. Their relationship started getting stronger, and after a long night on the studio, when both of them got home, back to the place which - no matter how much they’d try to deny it - wasn’t the same anymore.

On that night, those kisses were heated, hungry. They were breathless, hope was in the air. It wasn’t recently that they felt this tender love toward each other.

VI. The empty kiss

But it didn’t last long. A few weeks after that night, those heated kisses which were vibrating and so alive, became empty. When Ilhoon kissed Sungje, he felt like he was kissing a cold statue. The breakup was so close.

VII. The desperate kiss

Those empty kisses were followed by desperate kisses. But those kisses were desperate only for Ilhoon. As for Sungjae, they were neither empty nor desperate. It was only Ilhoon, who was still trying. He was trying so desperately until he realized he should just stop.

So he stopped trying.

 

VIII. The can’t-let-you-go-yet kiss

It was their last kiss, after deciding to stop. It was too suffocating to stay any longer in this relationship. Sungjae knew, Ilhoon knew as well. Even if this broke him. So when he kissed Sungjae for the last time, he put into his movement every type of kisses they had shared through these years. 

He wanted to tell Sungjae that he can’t just let him go. It’s not that easy.

“Is this really what you want?” Ilhoon asked, pulling away and opening his eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m… I’m sorry. I just… It’s my fault.” Yes, it is, Ilhoon wanted to say but kept that thought to himself. “You deserve better.” Sungjae, cupping Ilhoon’s face between his hands, kissed his boyfriend again. It wasn’t as strong, but Ilhoon swore he could that Sungjae’s kiss was very similar to him. A part of his didn’t want to let Ilhoon go either. But that part must have been small and Sungjae had control over it. 

But that didn’t matter anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: 6vanillakiss


End file.
